We let such a stupid thing divide us. Whether it be in a church, a school, a family, friends, marriage, we let this one stupid thing come between us and other people. Jesus called us to love people, it was a commandment!
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind….
and the second is equally important: love your neighbor as yourself.”
He never called us to love the
Example- the 4th of July, we celebrate it like it is a religion. It is scary how much we all care about the 4th of July. I don’t know many people that choose not to celebrate it. But Christmas and Easter… how many people do you know that celebrate Christmas for the presents and make it about santa, and they make easter about the easter bunny and the eggs and candy? It is crazy how little we care about those holidays and their true meaning, but the 4th is a huge deal.
The reason this scares me so much is because we celebrate our freedom in
Enough about worshiping
I have a quote that I want to share with you from Greg Boyd, the speaker from last Sunday night. “When you have the
I love this quote and I hope it is something that makes you think also about what we celebrate as this holiday season gets closer.
I remember my sister telling my once how she would cry after saying bye each time I visited for the weekend and would have to go back to my dad's house. I remember crying too.
I think it all started when I was a kid and was not given the opportunity to say goodbye. Long story short, I was, in a way, kidnapped from my mom in Tennessee. My sister and I didn't get to say bye to each other. I was in preschool, my sister wasn't even in first grade yet, and my brother was just a newborn. We were on our way to church in our cute matching Sunday dresses, when I was taken right out of the family truck in our driveway. I remember kicking and screaming and not being able to do anything about it. My own mom had to watch this happen and she wasn't able to do anything. Don't get me wrong, she did put up a fight, but it was no good and it was too late. I can't imagine how hard that would be for her, it was hard enough for me, and I didn't even know what was happening.
My first hard goodbye was a very hard one. I don't think I have kept from crying during a goodbye since then. I have never understood a goodbye that was easy.
I have been working on some goodbyes these last couple weeks. Not just a simple goodbye, but some really hard ones.
My sister is moving to Germany on Tuesday, she will be gone for three years.
She is my best friend. She has been my constant in life, and I love her to death. Her leaving is really a bitter-sweet situation though. Her husband lives in Germany for the army, and she will be joining him. They will get to be together for the first time since they have been married. They have had an interesting situation their first couple years of marriage, so this will be awesome for them. It is just hard to know that I won't be seeing much of my sister in the next three years.
Last Thursday I took the day off to hang out with her all day. It was an awesome day. We didn't make any plans, we just let the day unfold. Then on Saturday I spent the evening with the family. We ate dinner together, then played a game and watched a movie. But my favorite part of the night had to be at the end when I was getting ready to go home. Ashley and I sat in bed together and just talked.
We share stories when we are together, we share the same stories that we have been telling for years, and they never get old. We still laugh until we cry. Or we tell a story that makes us cry until we laugh. It never gets old, but it is still just as hard.
It wasn't the last goodbye though. I will see her this Saturday, then that is it. I can guarantee it will be a tearful goodbye again, but I will try to see it as bitter-sweet.
There was someone else I almost said goodbye to, for real and forever. Only with him, there were no words between us. It was my favorite uncle actually. He tried to kill himself last Thursday. He is ok and in the hospital, but he is not doing so well. He has three kids from his late wife, and his current wife has a daughter as well. He almost left this world leaving behind a wife, four kids, and so many people that care for him deeply.
I don't get to see him much, but when I do, I feel such a connection with him. He is the only uncle that I could watch a movie with and know that he will be crying at the same parts as me. He is such a cool guy but he is carrying so much weight on his shoulders. I hope and pray that he is going to recover and that he will never feel the need to leave this world prematurely again, because that is one goodbye that I wouldn't get back.
These last goodbyes are ones that hopefully will be short-lived. It is a friend goodbye, the kind that you don't want to say, but yet, it is somehow it is said without words...
I have felt like bridges I have never wanted to burn are being burned or are on the verge or burning. It is a goodbye that shouldn't be said, but unfortunately it is one that is said quite often. I hate when friendships end, but as I am sure everyone knows, it is a part of life.
I have grown close to many people in my life, some from the cities, some from Rochester, but all people that I have grown to genuinely love. When things happen within a friendship that are hurtful, sometimes it is easier for a person to ignore it, and the friend, than to fix it. Apologies are hard things. I hate apologising, I hate being wrong, I hate even more to have to tell someone I am sorry for being wrong. But friendships are hard work, they require love, patience and the strength to apologize. It is easy to be all these things, just maybe not all at once or all with one person.
I hope that a few people and I can be these things with each other and the friendships can be mended and renewed. I don't want to say that goodbye, and I hope other people feel the same way.
I am sick of goodbye, I don't want to say it anymore, and I don't want to hear it either. I pray for strength in those hard moments. And I pray for joy in the moments that I have with the people that I have to say goodbye to. I don't want to miss out on the good because I am focused on the sadness.
I find that when I am fine with how things are going and nothing is wrong, I don't wish to grown in my faith. Because why grow if everything is fine right? It is a horrible mind set for me to get into. I am kind of jealous of those of you who can be comfortable and still want to grow closer to God and know Him more. It is just something I have not been able to accomplish.
I think that is partially why I am looking forward to traveling so much. If I go to New Zealand and am away from my family and friends for 6 months, I would seriously need God to get me through it. I would strive to be closer to Him every time that I miss home. I got homesick being in Georgia for a week... 6 months would be tough. (I do still hope I have someone who could visit me though!)
The dictionary defines comfort as ease, undisturbed, adequate or sufficient. That sounds like too much for me. Somethings may come easy, I may have undisturbed time, and have sufficiency in my life. But I hope and pray that I don't have all of it at once.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't hope to be like Job and have everything taken away from me. That in no way sounds fun or pleasant. But I do want God to take me places, and bring people to me that will challenge me spiritually, mentally and physically.
That is my prayer today. For a life of people, places and challenges that will bring me closer to God. I don't know what could be better!
The school year has started. (for most, but not for me) And I am back to work full time at the cafe. It is so great to see everyone again and to see the kids running around. They really cheer the place up.
I am also working at Zumiez so I can not only pay my bills, but save money and still have some cash left over for fun. It is a lot of work, but I can do it, having a goal in mind makes it much easier to go to work after getting home from work. And really the work is too treacherous. I make drinks and sell kids clothes and skateboards. Not bad.
But, speaking of goals, I will give you a tiny little preview of what those are! The reason I am just giving a tiny preview, is because I don't want to get overly-excited about something that isn't set in stone yet.
That being said, I might go to Rwanda this summer for a couple weeks with the Land of 1000 Hills group. The trip is in mid-June would be an amazing experience if I go. I am praying about it and we will see what happens. This ministry is absolutely amazing, they do so much work for the farmers in Rwanda, and they really focus on showing God's amazing love. http://landof1000hills.com
Also, in October of 2010, it is a possibility that I might go to New Zealand for 6 months. I have to apply, get accepted, and have the money though. I can apply in December, so as soon as I can send it in, I will. Then I will continue to pray about it and we will see what happens with that as well. This is a 6 month missions school through YWAM. If you don't know YWAM, I suggest you go to the website and check it out. http://ywam.org/
I appreciate all your prayers about these trips.
That is really it for me this summer, I just worked and played... mostly worked.
Now that it is the school year, I have more exciting stuff going on, and I plan to keep up on blogging... writing and reading them. :)
Ok, my week in GA was awesome!
I had so much fun hanging out in the coffee shop. It was the cutest place ever. It was a smaller house made into a coffee shop. The walls were painted red, tan, and brown colors. There was some great Afican art on the walls, pictures taken from their trips to Rwanda, and shelves with more art. There was a brick fireplace in the middle of where the living room would be, and couches, tables and chairs all over. Seriously, the cutest coffee shop ever.
I got to taste all their coffees and I had a few other specialty drinks. I hung out in the roasting room and had a crash course on how to roast coffee. It is in an incredible process, a lot goes into it. I got some great information about their ministry and how we as a church cafe can help them and ourselves through their coffee. I am super excited to kick off the fall with this new stuff!
I stayed with two ladies whom I had never met for the first half of the week. It was really fun getting to know them and hang out. They made me feel so welcome. One of them worked for Land of a Thousand Hills, so that is how I got hooked up with them. And the other one was a vegetarian! Heck yes. They had this cute town home next to a state park, it was a great location.
Random, but necessary story-
On the way to the shop one morning I saw a great bumper sticker. It said this- I heart (there was a heart there) boobies.... Yes, boobies. Why would someone put that on their car?? I don't know, I just know it was funny. Then I thought, how funny would it be if I had an I heart boobies bumper sticker? ...but wait, I don't want people to confuse my sexual orientation... so maybe I should get an I heart penis sticker to go with it? ...no.... that is just inappropriate, and they will also think I am bisexual... another thing I don't want. Hmmm... OH I have it! Great solution- I will also get an I heart Jesus sticker! Now that is a great idea and a problem solver.... I will heart boobies, penises and Jesus. Great. Now everyone will know what I am about. (joke)
OR I could just skip the whole thing and not get any stickers? Yeah, that is probably best.
That is almost word for word what ran through my head.
Aren't you glad you are not in my head?? Sometimes I wish I wasn't either.
Another story, not so inappropriate this time-
For those of you who don't know, I suck at shopping. I will walk the same isles seven times before I get everything I need. I was probably in Walmart for at least an hour and left with maybe ten things. The line was also a really long wait. Not my favorite when I was as hungry as I was. But oh well. That trip resulted in finding my future husband. Oh crap, did I say that out loud?? ;) Ok, let me tell you.... he was SO cute. He was from NY and he was there for a trade show. We were both semi-lost, but we found Walmart and decided to do our shopping. We walked in together and chatted and flirted then went our separate ways. He asked me if I had my GPS to find my way around Walmart... no, and I should have! Anyway, I don't even know his name, but I will marry him. ;)
Then the second part of the week I camped at Red Top Mtn state park. It was so beautiful there. I had a great spot on top of the mountain. The spot was huge, and it was up a hill, about a half a mile from the beach. The pictures don't do it justice. The only down side to this place, was that I had to kill a spider while I was peeing!!! NOT COOL. All in all though, a great place.
On my way home I stayed with a good friend in Chicago. She is going to school there at North Park University. I stayed with her and her six roommates. It was really funny because there are always girls in and out, staying the weekend or just the night, and I was asked three times if I had just moved in or was going to.
In the morning Katie and I went to an awesome vegetarian resaurant that had some awesome vegan options. I had an amazing breakfast, a pesto and goat cheese omlet. SOOO good. Then a few of the roommates and Kate and I went to Hyde park to tour the area. They are all die hard liberal Obama supporters. So as you can imagine, they were quite excited to eat where he ate, buy books where he buys books, see his house and so on. It was a good time and an interesting tour. On the way back I laughed so hard in the car that I thought I was going to pee my pants! I laugh harder with Katie than almost anyone else. We have been friends for six or seven years now and we have so many stories, we always tell them when we hang out, and they are just as funny as when they happened the first time. I love friends. She is one of the few I have from when I was in school.I was only going to stay one night and part of the next day, then hit the road again. But I was having too much fun and I knew if I left early enough the next day, that I would make it back on time for work. So on Monday I woke up at 4:30 and hit the road by 5. Oophta, I was tired! I had such a great time with everyone though, it was well worth it.
All in all, I had a great week, I will miss GA and the people and my friend from Chicago. But I got homesick and am really glad to be home.
The drive down was a good one. I was going to leave right after church on Sunday, but that SO didn't happen. I went over to Deanne's house and stayed for about 3 hours. Then got on the road around 4. There was HORRIBLE traffic in the Dells area. I am pretty sure I was there for two hours in traffic. Needless to say, it sucked. Especially since I figured out my radio is slightly ghetto and only works when I am driving at least 30mph and the window is at the very least cracked two inches, talk about needy. So, those two hours of stop and go were musicless... and sad.
I finally got into Chicago around midnight and pulled over at a rest stop/McDonald's to sleep. I went to sleep around 1 and woke up at 5, great four hours of sleep. I got as ready as I could before hitting the road again, so basically I brushed my teeth, changed clothes and rinsed off my face. I got really tired around 7:30 from my lack of sleep and pulled over at a different rest stop to nap for an hour. It felt great. And the back of the jeep is surprisingly roomy.
There is not much to tell about the rest of the drive other than-
I saw a dinosaur, I saw an armadillo, I got pulled over and didn't look cute or have a low cut shirt on, so I got a ticket, I hit more rush hour traffic, I had to pee what seemed like 700 times from all my iced tea and red bull, and I started to lose my voice from singing.
I made it to the coffee house at 6 your time and 7 here. I met up with Erin Leigh and Mindy. (who is hosting me the first part of the week) We went out to a cute mexican food place in historic Roswell. The place reminded me of Las Margaritas and was really cute. (for you CG people who know what I am talking about)
That is all for now. I am sitting in the coffee shop and will write more as it happens.
I am needed a vacation. I love Rochester, and I love the people. But just like anyone else, I get to that point where I need out. I am at that point, and this trip will be a perfect solution. I am headed to Georgia tomorrow. I have to work 8:30 to 12:30 then I hit the road. I plan to make it Chicago at least before I stop driving for the night. Then Monday morning I will finish the drive to Roswell, GA.
I will be gone a week, Sunday through Sunday. There is an awesome ministry in GA called Land Of A Thousand Hills. They work with the genocide victims in Rwanda to grow coffee and sell it. They are a part of everything, from helping the farmers prepare to grow the coffee beans, to it being in the cup. They give more back to the farmers than any "free trade" I have ever heard of. Its awesome. And Monday I will be hanging out with them! I am super excited.
I will tell you about the trip when I get back. And hopefully I will have a few pictures to post.